its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have fence marks all over my body
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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