Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize