i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize