Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
