i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
