I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
