I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
