the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
