dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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