If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
