The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
