that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize