i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
