he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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