You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
