Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
