to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
