My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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