I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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