So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize