I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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