I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
