I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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