i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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