It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize