make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
