ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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