dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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