if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize