i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
