Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
