if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
