I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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