I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
