stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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