I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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