it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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