I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
