if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You left your phone here
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