weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
