swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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