There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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