were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
