She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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