STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
