gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you had me at cake vodka
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
