Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
