did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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