make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
