Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
