If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
