Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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