he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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