i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
