What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
