youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
