Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
