so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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