i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
