More tranny stories later!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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