covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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