As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
