I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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