Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
