My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
