No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
