Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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