i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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